The Motherhood Drama..

Hi guys.

Sorry for the long hiatus.. i was naturally busy with my girl. I wonder how you mommies out there can blog, while u have 3 kids, working full time, doing house chores and even maintain an online shopping blog at the same time? I have profound respects for you guys lah! As for me, i only have one child, on maternity leave but got no time to eat.

Ok, obviously im exagerating, i do have time to eat, but i really have to make sure that my girl is already asleep. Or else, that little missy will throw a fit everytime i put her down. Its true what my friend, Jaja commented on my wall post.

Sometimes i do feel like screaming, plus im all alone, no help, no adult supervision. I rely entirely on Google, and sometimes my dad. Yeah, ever since i gave birth, my dad and i have rekindled and he definitely cares about this granddaughter of his.. Almost everyday he would call and asks about his granddaughter. He literally raised all three of us, so he know a thing or two about babies. So i do rely on him sometimes. My mom enjoyed those photos that i mms-ed through my dads phone.

So yeah, sometimes i feel like screaming at the top of my lungs whenever i got frustrated that i cant get my girl to stop crying. And there are times that i want to cry whenever she cries coz i know she's in pain, but i cant figure out what exactly that makes her upset. I dont have the luxury to ask people to come and stay with me, most of them have their own responsibilites. So what i did was, i talk to my girl, sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't work. And there are times when i felt like im a complete failure at motherhood for not understanding my own child. Before she came into this world, i thought i have prepare myself fr the big role, i read lots of parenting books on how to handle a baby but to be honest with you guys, no books can teach you on motherhood. Different babies, different situation. Like mine, my girl is a premature baby, the handling would be a lot different from a full term.

Experience wise, i dont have much, although my youngest brother too was a premature himself, but at the time when he was born, i was away at a boarding school. So i dont know how my mom handle him when he was a baby. I only know how to handle full term babies. Sad but true. Besides, my late grandmother used to take care of him most of the time. I wasnt in the picture that much. There are times when i wish, my late grandmother was still alive, i knew she would be a big help for me in taking care of my girl. How i missed her. Ever since she passed away, i couldnt find laksa or kuih tepung talam in the world that tastes like hers.

What i have found out so far about my girl is that she hates being swaddled and she's a good escape artist, not even for good 2 minutes, she can free herself from being swaddled. She also hates blankets, if she's still awake or even semi conscious, she would kick the blanket on to the other side. She's one feisty baby. Also, she would smile to me with her eyes closed when she's about to go to sleep. that would be my favourite time, to see her smile before she's off to lala land. When i see her smile, i would believe that all the frustration that i had with her earlier dissolves into thin air and that is when i would think it's all worth it,

Her progress physically, she is slowly gaining weight, although she feeds a lot, every 2 hours she would wake up for her feeds, and at night it would be every 3 hours. She is now 1.65 kg and her length is 42 cm and her head circumference is 32 cm (at birth it was 26cm). Slow and steady. I cant wait when she's bigger. I would want to dress her up in those adorable dresses. The other day i bought a bunch of headbands for her. It looks so cute, i cant resist, i just have to buy every colour that is available! Even now, i had to refrain myself from online shopping for her again, or i'll seriously hurt my pocket. Huhuhu..

Anyway, how was your new year so far guys? Mine has been good until today, i learnt one of my ex-colleague passed away in a motorbike accident. I shed tears, he was so young. I believe he was only 21 or 22 like that. He used to seat next to me. I cant believe that he has gone. im sure he is in a better place now.

Anyhow, have to go, i ramble on too much, now my girl is up for her feed.

My Little Miss Muffet..

Hainizah @ 33 days old. 

My daughter now is 1.35 kg. Super yeay! She's gaining weight little by little..

Yesterday, the doc ask us to purchase a multivitamins syrup for infants.

Hopefully with this, she will gain weight faster so she can go home with me.. Ameen..

Guilty As Charge..

My first purchase at thepoplook.com. Super nicekan? but not nursing friendly, that's the point of having a nursing cover! Cantik kan? 
Love the colour, love the texture.. Can't wait to wear it, and pair it with a matching dress with my baby girl. Ooooh, i can imagine her wearing a red flowery dress, with me and her wear matching headbands. And my hubby too wear a red stripey shirt. Aiyak, verangan jer lebih! 

Practice, Practice & more Practice..

I get to change my baby diaper for the first time!

Apsal la aku jakun sangat bila dapat tukar diaper baby? Because i never get to do it since she was born, and only on her 25th day, i get to do it.

Now i know, her "cue" is that she would be restless. Wiggling all over the place, non stop stretching and moving around means she had done her "big" business and she is not comfortable with having her poo in her diaper.
The nurses told me she hardly cries. Good, that's my baby girl. But the nurses also told me, she's super active, that is soo like her Abah. She's definitely a daddy's girl.

The nurse asked me if i wanted to change her diaper and hesitantly i said yes. Hesitant because, im not sure if i can handle it as my premature baby looks so small and fragile. So i started off as opening the side of the incubator, took a fresh diaper and the wipes. Boy, was i nervous, i was perspirating all over, even my eyebrows were sweating.

I remove the dirty diaper, but i was not fast enough, her feet are all over the dirty diaper, so yeah, her feet was smothered with her poo (eeyyyyeeeeeeeeeewwwwww!!!), and her hands touched her feet (double eeeeeyeeeewwwwwwww!!!). I quickly grab both of her feet with my left hand while my right hand quickly grab the wipes and clean her private parts and quickly take another one to clean her hands and feet before the poo ends up in her mouth. Hhuhuhuu...

While doing it, i was sweating like mad. But i manage to do it with the help of my husband, he criticize my work and once we made sure that she's all cleaned up, we both try to put the new diaper on her. All the while, Hainizah gave us a puzzled look. She most probably wonder, "what the heck is my parents trying to do???", or "mama, why are you all sweating and look so serious??" or maybe, "my parents gone cuckoo already". Hahahaaaa...

Anyway, after all that, she looked all fresh and cleaned up. We stayed for a little while until the visiting time is over. We played with her, talks to her, make baby faces to her.. then we left for the day.

I definitely need more practice on changing the diapers, coz she's really fast. I can't imagine when she started to walk later. Most probably her abah will need to do all the chasing. He needs the exercise anyway. Hahaha... Im evil, i know.

If only we are allowed to take pictures or video of her. *sigh* We missed a lot of her growing up part. I dont want to miss it anymore.

The First Of Many..

Yesterday, the kind nurses at my baby's ward offered me if i want to hold my baby. They called it kangaroo care.

Kangaroo helps moms and preemies bond.  Becausea preemie spends a lot of time in the NICU, often away from mom for long periods of time, bonding time is important for both mom and baby.  Some other benefits of kangaroo care include:

• Stable heart rate and breathing
• Improved body temperature
• Improved weight gain
• Lesscryingandcolic
• Increases lactation success
• Shorter hospital stay
• Longer periods of alertness

Holding your baby close to your skin will help her heart rate to stabilize and keep her warm, improving her body temperature.  She may sleep better, cry less, and may even have more rapid brain development just from being carried close to your skin.  Even if your baby is not breastfeeding right away, the skin to skin contact will improve your chances of having a successful breastfeeding relationship.

Read more:http://www.justmommies.com/articles/kangaroo-care-preemies.shtml#ixzz1fuVWiUN2

I get to hold her for 15 minutes. I almost cried when i first held her. When she's on my chest, i could feel her breathing, she seems calmer, and she smells wonderful. I kissed top of her head few times.. It's hard for me to let her go when its time for me to put her back in her incubator. I missed her so much now.

Today, my only motivation is to see her at the hospital and to hold her again. Cant wait for that to happen.

Today, i found out that i can find premature clothes at mothercare. Hopefully this weekend, i can buy the clothes for Hainizah Azurene.

Shopping Frenzy!!!

Hi all..

These past few days, im on shopping frenzy.. Its YES, and some of the online shops are on sale.. But i think, i will go bald soon.. Man, its no joke when it comes to baby stuffs, but i know its worth it. Only the best for my baby..

So guys, head on to these websites for their good bargains..

1. OneBabyWorld.com 
2. Fabulousmom.com
3. MyBbStore.com

Oh there is another websites that reccommends online baby shops. The website owns by one of my good friend Liyana Aznil. The link to the website is http://babyshopaholics.blogspot.com/.

ok, toodles!

Updates on Hainizah Azurene..

People asks me on what can they call my baby since her name is too long and too many vowels. Hah..
Frankly speaking, i dont mind whatever name that you want to call my baby as long as there is a meaning behind it, like for example, Ain (means precious), Aini (means eye), Nizah (means strength), or Azurene (means willpower).

Anyway, Hainizah, is doing fine, no more of the antibiotic drip on her left feet. Yesterday, she smiled again at us..  although she looks groggy and sleepy. I helped to lift her up and make sure that she sleeps comfortably in her incubator. She seems active, stretching all over the place.. I can feel her muscles forming on her bones and she starts to develop "bulu roma" on her shoulders and legs. I also notices that she loves to sleep on her right side, sampai telinga kanan terkepek.. and she has my nose!

Updates on me? My waist length hair now has gone, i've finally cut it to a bob. Easier for me to manage. It costs me RM 45 for cut, wash and blow at the Hair Technique at Tesco Tg Pinang. The hairstylists told me i have very thick hair (for now missy, in 2 months time, i will start to lose it, blame it on the hormones).

I miss my baby everyday, itching to nuzzle and cuddle with her..

Confinement Day 21

Day 21 of confinement.. dont ask me where does the day 1 - day 20 goes. I was a mess those days.. so i didnt list it all down.. trying to adjust to the new status, new life, and new routine is definitely not easy i tell you.

anyhow. i swear by these products for those who is doing confinement on their own.. (and had a ceasarean)

1. Ginger Dry Shampoo

This shampoo reduces my bath time to about half and i notice that if i wash my hair with water, i'll get a headache, but i dont have any headache if i wash my hair using this dry shampoo. It smell of ginger, which is not so bad compared to other things.. Haha..

2. Minyak Herbanika Nona Roguy

This product helps me to reduce the wind in my body, and keep my body warm as well. After delivery, ur body will have a lot of wind and to reduce it, its reccommended to use herbal oil for blood circulation and exposing the wind. I highly reccommend this oil. 

3. Ebene Foot Massager Socks 

It is important to keep yourself warm during ur confinement and to avoid more wind entering ur body through ur pores. The elders would force you to wear socks all day and night. While doing that, it is good if you could get ur blood circulatiion going on as well. So this product is reccommended as well. You can use this socks for 2 weeks continuously without having to wash it as its odourless and its machine washable too.

Will update more if i have more info..